Training Our Daughters

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(This post was written by Heidi)

Week 6 of 10 in the Raising Girls Series

Week 1 – Cultivating Solid Self Esteem In Daughters
Week 2 – Questions In Every Little Girl’s Heart
Week 3 – 10 Life Changing things a Father can do for his Daughter
Week 4 – 10 Beliefs every Girl should have about Herself
Week 5 – Building Confidence In Your Daughter

(See Raising Boys Series here)

Do you ever come across tasks/skills that you wish you had been taught growing up? How to darn socks or take up hems properly. How to ice a decadent cake. How to budget and cater for a large group of people. How to iron properly. How to change a tyre. Whatever your thing is, isn’t it good to know that you still have the ability to learn that, and teach that to your daughter? We are not the product of our upbringings. We can change constantly, learn whatever we weren’t taught, and pass on gems to our little girls.

A few training areas to think about:

How to manage a household
Train your daughter alongside you. She’ll be doing it for herself one day and will be thankful for your training then. Systems are key. Storage systems. Chore charts and housework management. Flylady is fab for systemizing housework; if you haven’t already heard of her, or signed up to her newsletter/site, go for it! Laundry systems, shopping lists, bulk cooking systems, budgeting wisely; there is so much to learn in order to manage a household effectively!

Sewing
There will always be the usual stuff to sew – patches on skinned-knee pants, hems to take up, socks to darn. Then there are the more creative things – dresses to make, baby quilts to sew, baby booties to crochet. If you don’t know how to sew, now is a good a time as any to learn – alongside your daughter.

Personal care
Teach your daughter the habit of dressing herself completely, top to toe (hair to shoes) first thing in the morning, and checking in the mirror that she looks neat and clean before leaving the house; keep shoes polished, hair and nails clean, eating habits that are best for her health and skin. Teach her the value of being a good steward of her personal things, as well as how to clean or care for them.

Posture and self image
Teach your daughter the importance of good posture and in carrying herself well; how to sit like a lady. Teach her the link between self image and how it affects how a lady carries herself. Practice conversational skills at home (you can use the analogy of a ball being passed back and forth between two people), teach her how to look a person in the eye while talking to them, shake hands confidently, taking turns talking, so that she learns how to confidently talk to others on her own.

Wife and Mother role
Talk to your daughter about her future – if she marries one day, and becomes a mother.

Detail the small things that she will need to know, things she will need to learn to do, like how to manage her time wisely and efficiently, how to take time out for herself and prioritize time for hobbies, making time for in-person friendships.

If she is older, speak honestly about things you battle with, such as burnout, finding time for romance, prioritizing kids/husband/work/God; and give her solutions to those problems (yes, solve your problems and teach her! What a great incentive to solve your problems!) You are training up the next generation of moms and wives!

Teach her how to respect her husband; to speak well of him with friends, not gossip and rag him to pieces behind his back.(The book Love & Respect is a valuable book for any married couple to read!)

Dads – train her to dress modestly and femininely
Dads definitely play an important role in a girls life; his not allowing her to leave the home if she is dressed inappropriately sends her an important message about her worth. She may moan and sulk and go and change, but she will know that you care enough about her to get her dressed decently and appropriately. Endorse her femininity – compliment her, make her feel beautiful and lovely as a girl. Protect her.

Dads – train her, by example, on how to find a good man
Treat her and her mom with respect, tenderness and love. Take lead as head of the home. Be the kind of man she’ll want to marry one day. Show her what a real man is like – how he treats women, how he talks about them, how committed he is to family, how he manages his time and personal life; show her what great character looks like.

It is such a privilege raising daughters! Our influence is powerful and can set them on a steady track into adulthood. Be honest as to what is lacking in your upbringing, be proactive and train your daughter in all the ways you value!